


the best thing i ever did

by geniewish



Series: office au [2]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Birthday, Birthday Presents, Confessions, Drinking, Fluff, Getting Together, Hyungkyun, M/M, Minor Kihyuk, Oneshot, happy birthday hyungwon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-10 05:44:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17420183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geniewish/pseuds/geniewish
Summary: And although Hyungwon's mornings are always long, viscous, sticky and boring, a certain someone's smile and long-awaited confession make the rest of his special day a little bit (maybe even a lot) better.





	the best thing i ever did

**Author's Note:**

> this is part of the office au, the first fic of which is kihyuns bday oneshot. you dont have to read it, but i would recommend it anyways to understand the characters and the universe better, as well as kihyuks relationship. there are also a lot of contradictions and similarities between these two works which i tried to figure out and insert, so hope you can see that too!
> 
> in this universe they are older than irl
> 
> the title of the fic is taken from The Best Thing I Ever Did by twice!! the feel too!
> 
> hope you enjoy! kudos and comments are as always very appreciated!

Early mornings have always been hard. For as long as Hyungwon remembers himself, there have barely been things that made him smile in the morning. 

Six alarms are scheduled every week from Monday to Friday, each three minutes apart, and the remaining five give him a benefit of a doubt and ring only ten minutes after the initial alarms go off. The first thing he hears in the morning is a loud Big Bang song, then a little AC/DC riff, then back to drum-filled Korean pop beats. And even though Hyungwon doesn’t listen to metal, he can’t help but feel thankful for the nerve-strumming ‘Back in Black’ tune that he just can’t wait to turn off. Maybe it’s the only reason he succeeds at opening his eyes at six-thirty a.m. five days a week, fifty weeks a year, for several years in a row now. 

After rubbing his lids and slapping his cheeks, he resorts to lying flat on his back and stare at the plain white ceiling for another several minutes, cover his thin bare torso with a heavy duvet and a wool blanket, shiver, curse the cold weather and get his phone from the nightstand, to catch up on news and help his eyes get used to some light. Hyungwon is a little funny himself—even though the heating is on full force, his body still trembles every grey freezing morning, but his legs and feet feel hot and stuffy, and yet he still insists on sleeping topless, under three layers of blankets, on top of two plush pillows that make his neck cramp from being too high up. He gets used to things way too quickly, and therefore doesn’t change the routine. Maybe the inexplicable cold of gloomy winters is another reason he manages to put his feet on the ground, drag himself to the wheelie chair he has in his room and take a warm colourful jumper that is definitely not as fresh as it was a few days ago. 

Coffee is always the next step in his morning procedures. He heard from someone that most (normal, as Kihyun added) people brush their teeth first, wash their faces, get dressed and only then turn on the coffee machine and cook breakfast, but he knows they bullshit him. He briefly ponders that Kihyun’s mornings are probably so much more organised than his, that he wakes up on the first try and feeds off the dark energy of unhappy sleepy strangers on public transport, and Hyungwon leans on a kitchen counter with a cup of black coffee with a lifting thought that he can’t relate. And he doesn’t have to relate.

He gets ready, makes himself smell and look appropriate, glances at the time and contemplates between having cereals or (probably) spoiled tuna maki he bought the other day, and decides on a chocolate bar and a chewing gum. Then he feels a little less sleepy, a little more energised, and quickly packs his bag and puts his Oxfords on (he should ideally wear Timberlands or the ugly Caribou boots his mother gifted him and just take spare office shoes to change, but he physically can’t be bothered), and now he is ready to leave. Crouching down to tie his shoes makes his head spin and his back spasm, but he just winces and puts on a coat that isn’t suitable for winter at all. Hoseok gave him an incredible jacket for his previous birthday, puffy, warm and comfortable, but he lost it somewhere in his wardrobe and haven’t had the time to look for it yet. 

Right. It’s his birthday today.

Hyungwon sighs, fixes himself in the entrance hall mirror, offers his reflection a small thin smile he knows is too rehearsed at this point, and leaves his apartment. But now back to Kihyun—the poor guy uses public transport, and Hyungwon always feels a little more encouraged and uplifted when he sees his own pretty car in the garage of his complex, and he plops onto the driving seat with a relieved exhale. It has always been a reason to tease his colleague, and he loves teasing his colleague just because Kihyun teases back and gives off an insane amount of energy that Hyungwon can hungrily absorb and function on for at least a couple of hours. He is still running on time. His car greets him with a happy birthday wish, and he huffs out a laugh and curves his eyebrows at the absurdity. A machine and social media pages are always the first ones to tell him something nice at the mercilessly early hours of the morning. 

It's still dark when he drives out of the garage, turns on some relaxing jazz music and wonders about the day. He knows that he won’t be neglected, that his friends and colleagues will hug him and greet him with smiles, but he also knows that no matter how much energy he sucks out of people that willingly give it away when they talk to him, his state of mind depends on him and solely on him. Maybe he should do something nice for himself.

So he stops by a café on his way to work, buys the sweetest coffee he can find and a piece of cheesecake for takeaway, and takes short two minutes to savour the sugary syrup and a little bit of caffeine. Sweet things aren’t his favourite, but he heard from someone that sugar helps you wake up, so he allows himself to endure a little bit of diabetes. Kihyun would say that having sugar on an empty stomach is really bad and that it increases the cholesterol level (because of course he knows that Hyungwon isn’t the one to have healthy breakfast) and would then proceed to take him down to the cafeteria to force him to at least get a sandwich. 

Yeah, his mornings are usually this long, viscous, sticky, grey and salty, but at least he gets to work on time and pats himself on the back for another successfully commenced day. 

It’s only after he clumsily gets out of his car, holds his shoulders and shivers as he walks to the building, gives the guard a little wave, wipes his eyes again in the elevator, strolls down the corridor, takes a long round inhale, presses down on the weighty door handle, that, suddenly, the day goes by so much quicker. 

And he smiles with the first ‘Happy birthday, Hyungwon!’ a colleague throws in his direction as he steps into the open office, finally fully awake and ready to dive into another (probably) twelve-hour work shift. 

 

It’s always very satisfying to see Kihyun in the office before him, but it’s somehow especially pleasing seeing him enter Hyungwon’s space five minutes after his arrival. Human resources management is separated from the rest of the open space by a feeble glass wall, and Kihyun comes in with a quiet knock and a small smile on his face, just corners of his mouth raised in a thin grin. Most of Hyungwon’s colleagues are absent, and he slumps in his wheelie chair in proud solitude, the rest of the folks from compensation and benefits probably still struggling to get to work on time. 

He smiles when Kihyun wiggles his eyebrows and takes large bouncing steps to his desk, hands hiding something behind his back. “Chae Hyungwon,” he announces lowly and loudly, voice buried in his chest but not intimidating at all with how playful Kihyun’s grin grows. He juts his jaw forward and sucks in his cheeks to prevent his façade from cracking. “Happy birthday, you stupid mantis.” He extends his hands with a small box in a plain white wrapper with a red ribbon carefully holding it all together, and Hyungwon shakes his head as he accepts the gift with a smile. 

“Thank you,” he stands up just enough to give Kihyun a short but tight hug, and when he sits back down, he sees the other’s mouth curving in all ways possible just to hold back a smile. Hyungwon eyes him suspiciously, squinting. “What is it?” He asks and unties the ribbon, and Kihyun shakes his head and bites on his lower lip. 

“Nothing, it’s not about the present.” Then he shakes his head faster and widens his eyes as he probably mentally facepalms at himself for reasons Hyungwon isn’t supposed to know. “Just happy you’re finally the same age as me so you stop pretending like you have more than year until you’re in your thirties.” Kihyun shoots and rolls his eyes, and Hyungwon laughs as he tears the wrapper apart. 

“I feel like there is something else you’re hiding from me, but it’s okay, at least I have my present.” Hyungwon has never been particularly fond of birthdays, hasn’t cared about presents for a decade now, hasn’t made any plans, but he’ll be lying if he says he doesn’t enjoy the flood of attention and affection he usually gets from his friends every year. Even Kihyun’s. “How are Moon, Dawn and Alie doing?”

Kihyun gets all dopey and soft whenever his pets are mentioned, so he replies and shudders his shoulders as he so visibly wants to go back home and take his—their—little children and hold them tight.

Hyungwon discards the torn wrapper on the desk and spins a white carton box in his hands. Kihyun sighs in exasperation and hurries him up, saying that he needs to work, that their branch would die without him, but he doesn’t stop rocking on his heels, obvious anticipation seeping through his short body. Hyungwon opens it and blindly reaches inside, trapping something round, smooth and glassy. He gets out a white snow globe. A shade of confusion flashes on his face for a second before he looks closely and releases a high breathy laugh of disbelief, eyes wide and brows raised. 

“Is this me?” He studies a tiny human figure in the middle, its pale porcelain face and carefully drawn big eyes, thick eyebrows and big lips, its coat and pants, so similar to Hyungwon’s daily outfit, its funny pose in the middle of a globe. There is a plate on a Christmas tree behind the figurine, calligraphic font spelling ‘Happy Birthday, Prince Charming’ with a little timeslot of 1:15 hidden in the corner. Hyungwon shakes the globe and smiles wider at the sparkles of snow clouding under the glass, storming around the figurine, before slowly and calmly falling back to the bottom. He looks up to Kihyun. “Thank you,” he puts it on the desk, next to the paper calendar of important company events, “it’s adorable. Who even thought of it?”

Kihyun smiles with his teeth, sneaky and cheeky. “We both did.” And Hyungwon knows that you can always rely on Minhyuk to go an extra mile to make someone else happy. “We’re going to the bar after work, by the way.” He informs, and Hyungwon sighs as he drops his head on the desk, both anticipating the fun drunk night and dreading another dark exhausting morning.

And even after the second hug, Kihyun doesn’t stop biting on the inside of his cheeks to stop an unreasonable smile from coming out. Hyungwon gives up on questioning and just lets it be. 

 

What Hyungwon doesn’t suspect, is that on the other side of the office, hidden between book racks and desks, close to the meeting room of the marketing department, Changkyun and Jooheon stand there whispering, watching the scene unfold from a safe distant through the thin reflective glass. One panics, rises on his tiptoes, sighs and groans with all the world’s pain and exasperation, tugs at his hair and rubs his temples, while the other squints due to his poor eyesight and slaps the shorter man on the back.

“Why are you panicking? Kihyun won’t say anything, he keeps his secrets.” Jooheon crinkles his nose and rises his upper lip as he judges Changkyun’s anxious pacing around himself.

“I’m not panicking, I’m fine.” He replies as he bounces on one place and pouts, whines and bring his hands to his chest, wrists limp and shaking. “I can’t do it.” He mumbles and presses his forehead to Jooheon’s shoulder, on the verge of tears they both know aren’t real.

The other sighs. “Do you want me to go with you?” He suggests and lightly pats Changkyun on the back, but the shorter man springs up with wide terrified eyes and shakes his head. 

“No!” A few tired eyes are raised in his direction, Jooheon and Changkyun smile politely in apology, wave offhandedly and go back to furious whispering. “We can’t go together, I have to go alone, otherwise he will think the present isn’t from me.” 

Jooheon rolls his eyes and holds Changkyun’s shoulders to keep the man in place. “Yo. Changkyun. Brother. He will love the present, you spent an incredible amount of time on it, he’d be stupid not to appreciate, and if he doesn’t, then you’ll know it’s a sign that you should drop him.” Jooheon explains slowly and sternly, making sure the other absorbs every word with precise attention and care. They’ve been through enough things together for the older to know how to handle an anxious Changkyun, especially if the anxious Changkyun is long-term in love. 

“What if he listens to it now and finds out what I want to say? What if he rejects it and excludes me from out trip to the bar? What if—what if—what if I die before we even get to the bar?” Changkyun catches himself in time and takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and following a rhythmic pattern. The funny things about him is that if someone dared him to kiss Hyungwon on a sober head out of nowhere, with no explanation, with no inhibition, he would do it without a second thought, only caring about the consequences a day or even two later. But something in Changkyun always clicks and cramps when it comes to doing things like a real adult, when it comes to being genuine with words, when it comes to showing affection in ways other than, let’s say, hugging. Changkyun loves hugging. But he loves Hyungwon more, and he deserves for things to be done correctly. 

“You good?” Jooheon asks calmly, knowing that the other is setting his mind on the right path, preparing himself for something he’s been preparing for several months. 

Changkyun inhales, exhales and nods, taking Jooheon’s hands on his shoulders into his hold and leaving a peck on the knuckles. See, touching things with his mouth helps him concentrate and move on, it’s always easier to explain things this way. And he’d rather just wait for Hyungwon to confess first and then kiss him good enough to consider it a response to his feelings, but Hyungwon is better than this, deserves better than this, and it’s also his birthday, so Changkyun gets his shits and wits together and goes to his desk to pick up his present. 

It's just a small flat box—he used to keep jewellery in there. He spins it between his fingers, walks down to the HR office with big confident steps, whistles and grins casually, even though his heart is secretly beating like crazy, crazy, crazy. Hyungwon looks up from the big stationary computer on his desk and smiles. And if Changkyun’s heart was just beating before, now it’s running, convulsing, spasming, thrashing, like a wild animal, like an ugly scientific experiment. And all because Changkyun knows that Hyungwon’s smiles sent his way are special, dedicated to him only. He always smiles like a person he’s talking to is the only person in the world, he always creates the illusion that the other has his full undivided attention, that they are everything Hyungwon has ever known, that they are as special as a human can be. Time that by ten, and this is how beautifully unique Hyungwon’s smiles are when he casts his eyes on Changkyun.

“’S’up, birthday boy,” he strolls in and tries to extinguish the sparkles in his eyes that always react to the pretty man in front, tugs his face muscles back to neutral to stop a stupid dopey smile from spreading, clears his throat to not giggle out of happiness of seeing the other. 

“Hey,” Hyungwon gently says and gets up for a hug, and Changkyun unconsciously skips to his desk and bumps into the other’s embrace, immediately relaxing at the warm familiar proximity. 

“Happy birthday!” Changkyun tiptoes and exclaims into the other’s small ear, making him softly cry out and hold on to it, before his lips stretch again and his big doe eyes light up, and Changkyun stops himself from spacing out and just drowning in the heartfelt gaze. Hyungwon always looks at him with sincere affection, and he doesn’t understand why it took him over a year of preparation to plan out a confession. He promised himself to tell Hyungwon before the older turns thirty, which means he has a whole day less than a full year to do that now. 

But the day has just begun. 

“Thank you, Kyunnie,” Hyungwon smiles until his cheeks puff up and his eyes crinkle, and Changkyun wonders if he can hear the mad galloping of his heart in his chest. 

“Here is my present,” he extends a hand with a little flat box but retrieves it back immediately and frowns lightly, “but you have to promise me to open it only once you get home, okay?” He curves his eyebrows in a more hopeful way than threatening now, and Hyungwon nods enthusiastically and grins. 

“I promise. I wonder what this is,” he squints he eyes and bites on his lower lip, giving Changkyun a very obviously smug look, to which the shorter lightly slaps his shoulder and gasps in disbelief. 

“Yo! We’re at work!” He exclaims and just shoves the box into laughing Hyungwon’s hands. 

“I didn’t even say anything!” He giggles and covers his mouth, looking around to make sure his colleagues don’t mind the little noisy outburst.

Changkyun licks over his teeth and waits for Hyungwon to carefully hide the present in his bag. His heart is beating just furiously, he maybe feels heat creeping to his cheeks (because Hyungwon is pretty, and he just so happened to love him), but he is happy and fulfilled, accomplished in his mission to make the other smile because of him. 

The morning has only just begun, and so they hug again, and Changkyun runs back to his own workplace, releasing a tense whine into Jooheon’s chest. Feelings are hard. 

 

Minhyuk, their manager, is the next one to approach Hyungwon.

He is an important man, acts like he owns the place, so he sits on his desk and smiles down at Hyungwon’s already exhausted face. He smiles back nonetheless and reaches for hug. 

“Happy birthday,” he congratulates and ruffles his hair, to which Hyungwon clicks his tongue with a little annoyed smile and tries to fix it back to how it was before. 

“Thank you.”

“My present is at the back of my car, I forgot to bring it.” Just how he forgot to brush his hair in the morning, Hyungwon thinks to himself and snorts. Kihyun constantly pries him about it, combs his tubby fingers through his bangs before they enter the conference room, brings a spare brush that Minhyuk always refuses. Hyungwon wishes for someone to bring him spare things too. He even has a certain someone in mind, but if he thinks about it, he smiles dreamily, and he can’t let Minhyuk read his face so early in the morning. He’ll never get peace for the rest of the working day otherwise. 

“That’s fine, I can wait for it.” Hyungwon props his cheek with his palm and blinks cutely to dismiss the other’s very much intentional behaviour, but then he moves closer and hunches over him, sneaky smile shading his face with conspiracy and scheme. 

“Has Changkyun already come in? What did he give you?” And here it comes, the questioning and enquiring about the certain someone. Hyungwon huffs out a laugh and leans back in his chair, not ready to have this conversation so early in the day. Maybe this was why Kihyun couldn’t stand still—they all share the exact same thoughts and plans on how to help Hyungwon and Changkyun get at least a tiny bit closer. Minhyuk is a schemer, he plots and plots, shares secretive gazes with the rest of the members of their little friendship group, and then pulls out some tricks that are both infuriating but helpful. Hyungwon is grateful though. Whereas he just considers himself too old and undeserving, the other has an insane amount of hope in him. 

“He told me to open his present when I get home.” And just as he expected, a sheepish dreamy smile stretches his lips, and he can’t escape Minhyuk’s playful nudging and wiggling eyebrows.

“Promise to do it like he said, okay?” He shakes his index finger at him as a warning.

Hyungwon nods, closing his eyes for a second. “I will.”

Minhyuk’s presence is always very energising, and he’s just grateful that people like him can get him through the day faster with a sane mind. 

 

Hoseok from R&D storms into the office with a thud and a sniff of his red nose. The cruel winter never spares mercy on the poor man, and he always gets sick at the most inconvenient times. He looks like he just came from the street, huge padded jacket still on and hair messed up, cheeks and hands cold, and he engulfs him in a hug that sends shivers down Hyungwon’s spine. 

“Happy birthday, Hyungwon! Hope this next year will bring you only good things!” Hoseok sniffs after his greetings and smiles, extending a plastic bag with what can only be a present. Hoseok has had a rough start of the year, and Hyungwon didn’t even expect the other to bother with friendly formalities, but he is an incredibly nice person, too nice, if Hyungwon can judge. 

“Thank you so much,” he accepts the bag with a grateful smile and peeks inside. Hidden below multiple packs of vitamins and sweets Hoseok brought from his trip to Japan, are heavy vintage books on things Hyungwon believes he truly loves. Hyungwon laughs and spreads his arms to accommodate a very cold Hoseok in his embrace. 

The other reciprocates with an unbelievably bright smile, all gums and shimmering teeth and nose crinkles, and Hyungwon feels happy. “Enjoy!” Hoseok exclaims and sniffs again, wiping the cold tip of his nose. Since he is as usually late, he gasps at the time and waves furiously with another portion of wishes, escaping from the HR office. 

Before he turns around again and shoves another plastic bag into Hyungwon’s hands. “Here, food! I thought you might need some.” He whips his head to the side, wrinkles, crinkles and sneezes loudly, releasing a satisfied moan straight after. “This feels good…” Hoseok mutters breathily, spaces out for a second, shakes his head and smiles, congratulating Hyungwon with one more happy birthday wish, and finally running out. Hyungwon follows the older man’s waddling to his section with his eyes and an endeared smile. 

The food in the plastic bag is a small box of sushi, just enough to enjoy as a snack before lunch, and Hyungwon silently hopes Hoseok didn’t sneeze on it too much.

 

Jooheon, suspiciously without Changkyun, drags Hyungwon down to the cafeteria for lunch, because they all know the taller man isn’t the best at interpreting the grumbling in his stomach as hunger, so he relies on other people to show him the way to healthy life-being. There Jooheon buys him food, hands in a box of new sneakers (that Hyungwon is absolutely sure they bought collectively with Changkyun, but he doesn’t question it and just accepts the gift with a thankful yet apologetic smile—he doesn’t like people spending too much money on him) and entertains him throughout their whole meal. Hyungwon likes Jooheon, his cheerful foxy smiles and inexhaustible archive of conversation topics. 

And yet, despite the remarkable amount of energy Jooheon charges him with, Hyungwon can’t help but wonder where Changkyun is, what he is doing, whether he has had food, whether he will join them, whether he won’t see him again at all until their night out in the bar. It was mainly thanks to Jooheon that the two of them could even meet: some time ago (two, maybe three years ago), shy tiny intern Im Changkyun was sent to Hyungwon’s department, who wasn’t even in charge of anything at that point in time yet, and they had a little awkward time with each other until Jooheon, the saviour, came by and opened both of their souls with just a simple smile. 

When Changkyun was fully employed, they started hanging out a lot, and somehow everything developed in a way Hyungwon least expected. Maybe it took him two years to find himself crushing, maybe it took him another couple of months to notice how furiously whipped Changkyun was and had been for quite a while, maybe he is still waiting for a miracle to happen to grant him some freedom from this goddamn job and lend him some of Minhyuk’s courage to do things the way Changkyun prefers it—kiss without thinking about the consequences; kiss with blind belief that the consequences are just more kisses, and everything that follows them too. 

Jooheon smiles sneakily and squints his eyes even narrower when he catches Hyungwon mindlessly throw his rice around the plate with hazy eyes, but unlike their superior, he doesn’t question. He never does, understanding perfectly that Hyungwon is just a little dreamy, and Changkyun has the tendency to act on everything Hyungwon ever dreams of. 

 

They meet Hyunwoo, their busy executive’s assistant, on the way out of cafeteria. He catches his breath, cheeks red and forehead glistening, and Hyungwon laugh silently at the realisation that the older ran down the stairs all the way from the top floor (maybe a bit lower), because lifts always take a little too long to come and gather everyone, and he had to catch his friend in the five-minute break his boss has given him. 

Hyunwoo exhales hard, “Caught you! Wait,” he breathes in once and wipes his forehead, then smiles and stretches his hand with a small velvet box in them. Hyungwon catches Jooheon frowning with a little questioning grin as he eyes the box and probably recalls the present Kihyun bragged about on his own birthday just a couple of months ago. “Happy birthday.” Hyunwoo smiles warmly, the way Hyungwon likes it—when his eyes crinkle unevenly and one corner of his mouth stretches to the side, and he looks so pleasingly friendly that Hyungwon nearly jumps to hug him. 

“Thank you so much.” He says into the back of his neck and lets go after a little squeeze. Hyunwoo nods and looks around, waiting for Hyungwon to look at his present. He has to run back up soon. So Hyungwon opens the soft velvet lid and puts a hand over his mouth to cover up a gasp. Jooheon opens his mouth next to him, eyes widening comically and eyebrows rising up. Beautiful crystal earrings sparkle in the white light of the hall, radiating money and taste and everything Hyungwon is too scared to own. It can be rewarding to have friends that earn more. “Wow, thank you so much.” He whispers and pouts at Hyunwoo with almost pleading apologetic eyes, because, as he realised for himself before, it’s a little sad when people spend so much on presents for him.

Hyunwoo pats him on the back with one last birthday wish and runs off, leaving Hyungwon contemplating the price. They can’t wear jewellery at work—they shouldn’t even show the fact that they have their ears pierced—and so he decides to wear the earrings (and Jooheon’s amazing new sneakers) tonight to make his friends just a little bit happy. Make them experience at least a part of the happiness they made him feel today on this not at all special day in the middle of this gloomy winter.

 

They gather together at about nine, a little giggly and energised after downing two gifted bottles of champagne in Minhyuk’s office. Deciding to leave their cars by the building, Hyungwon, Jooheon, Changkyun and Hyunwoo split themselves on the backseats of Minhyuk and Hoseok’s cars, who refused to drink even for such an occasion. Well, it’s beneficial to Kihyun—Minhyuk can drive him home to their four-legged children and escort him to work the next morning too. Hyungwon does get a little bit jealous of their relationship, but not it’s the bad kind of jealousy. It’s… kind-hearted, like it’s something he both appreciates and wants to have. They don’t actually do anything particularly envy-evoking in public, and barely even hold hands when they’re at home if someone else is around, but Hyungwon has always been able to read emotions beyond the simple bodily contact. There are things in people’s eyes, and their voices, and their smiles. Particularly smiles. 

Changkyun has a beautiful one. 

And Hyungwon allows himself to be a little bit sappy and foolish when all seven of them barge into the gay bar they all can trust, in their ridiculous office suits and with makeupless faces. He allows himself to laugh and giggle when he and Jooheon and Hoseok huddle in the same bathroom stall and fix their hair in the mirror, Hyungwon puts on the new earrings, Hoseok takes funny pictures, Jooheon kisses him on the cheek, and they don’t really worry about tomorrow’s tough morning. 

They claim a table in the corner, order various cocktails. Each of them volunteers to buy Hyungwon whatever he wants, because it’s his day and he shouldn’t spend even more money. He wants to refuse, gets out his wallet to flex, but Hoseok suffocates him with a thick arm around his neck, and there’s nothing left for him to do other than sit back and wait for his Jägermeister, because he takes whatever Jooheon takes, as it’s only fair on his funds. 

It’s always fun to gather altogether, mainly because they rarely get an occasion. But when they do, it’s a time filled with something that feeds Hyungwon beyond his physical and conscious understanding. It’s like he gets full in his heart, his mouth always upturns involuntarily, and his head is light, busy with jokes and laughter. But squished between Hyunwoo and Jooheon, he feels a little uneasy, his eyes wander off to find Changkyun and his tipsy smile, trace his exposed forearm below the rolled-up sleeves, his thin hands, his side profile. He ponders about the present, hopes for miracles to happen, tells himself off to be grateful for what he already has, and finishes his second cocktail, washing off the taste of vodka with a little bit of juice and melted ice. 

Kihyun feels good enough, safe enough; he slumps on Minhyuk’s shoulder and pouts, plays with the taller man’s fingers, forcefully wraps his other hand around his waist, shouts something over the loud music to argue with Hoseok. The night gets busier, midnight is slowly approaching, and they all go to the dark-dark dancefloor, ties discarded or around their foreheads. Stylish youth gathers around, finger-guns Hyunwoo, dances with Hoseok, cheers for Kihyun and Minhyuk when they waltz around and kiss each other’s necks, jaws, cheeks, temptingly getting to the lips. Hyungwon laughs and fans himself with a funny expression, wiggling and shaking with the rest of the group, relaxed, happy. When it’s dark like this, only sharp red and green and blue lasers running around and along the floor, he can abstract himself from useless thoughts, not focus on useless things, not care about not useless people. 

But at some point, it gets hot, stuffy, tiring, and Hyungwon opens his eyes to distinguish Changkyun observing him with a lopsided tipsy smile, even smaller with his knees bent and hips swaying, hands limp in front of him and working to the beat. All of a sudden, he tiptoes, puts his hand on Hyungwon’s shoulder and reaches his ear, shouting over the music, “Want to go to the balcony?” and for better understanding moves his index and middle fingers in front of his mouth, plucking his lips forward. 

Hyungwon nods, and Changkyun wraps his hand around his wrist and leads him out of the dancefloor, along the busy tables and past the crowded bar, onto the balcony. It’s cold, dark and a little packed, but Hyungwon is tipsy, and the cold doesn’t get its icy hands on him immediately, just lightly dancing along the fabric of his white shirt. Changkyun leans on the sill and shudders with a little childish groan, cursing the weather and scrunching his eyes. He looks around, ponders all the people around him, and Hyungwon silently hopes they can just spend this time on their own. Changkyun is exclusively a social smoker, doesn’t buy but asks whoever he sees first when he gets drunk, talks to whoever he likes, shares wool blankets the bar offers with anyone, and he’s extremely fun to hang around, so seemingly small but so unbelievably energic and full of words and stories. 

But this time he doesn’t approach anyone. Hyungwon stands near, checks his phone out of boredom, because Changkyun doesn’t speak. He hears him inhale, exhale, catches him look at the time in his peripheral, and finally sees the other’s white shirt right in front of him, stealing his attention. There are a few minutes left until midnight. 

“Hey, Hyungwon,” Changkyun singsongs and smiles sheepishly, hands in his pockets and rocking back and forth on his feet, so visibly nervous but so, so unbelievably adorable. 

Hyungwon anticipates something, maybe the best present he is yet to receive. And he knows how Changkyun prefers to do it— kiss without thinking about the consequences; kiss with blind belief that the consequences are just more kisses, and everything that follows them too, and Hyungwon wouldn’t mind following the other man’s ways. But Changkyun gathers his wits, looks at the time again and sighs.

“I promised myself to do it on your birthday, so here it comes,” he mutters and looks up, eyes soft and shining even in the dark, mouth small and lips trapped between his teeth. Hyungwon smiles for encouragement, tries to remain calm, although his heart is beating fast, drums on his chest, threatens to spill right into Changkyun’s delicate hands. “I can’t rea-a-a-ally say a lot now,” he stretches and wrinkles his face, “but you can listen, uh, see the rest in the present I made—got—you.”

Hyungwon doesn’t hold back a little chuckle and a wider growing smile, and his fingers twitch to hold Changkyun’s fidgeting hands. Instead, the shorter man moves closer, stomachs nearly pressing, and Hyungwon doesn’t stop himself from lightly caressing the other’s waist, encouraging him to carry on. Truthfully, Changkyun is the only present Hyungwon really wants.

Then he licks over his lips before biting his lower one, and his black sparkling eyes run over Hyungwon’s features, and he moves his own hands to his shoulders, playing with a fold. “I like you, a lot.” Changkyun confesses quietly, releasing a shuddering breath when Hyungwon’s hands press a little more palpably. “Let’s just date, after all.” He blurts in one hot breath against his mouth and closes his eyes, waiting for the reply. 

And it’s a little funny that there was no reason for Changkyun to wait for the confession until his birthday, that he didn’t have to make it a present, that they’ve known each other long enough to choose any day to decide it once and for all, but Hyungwon still feels tingly and excited like a teenager, smiling widely and brightly at the best thing that ever happened to him on his birthday. 

“I’m unconditionally in love with you, too,” he whispers into Changkyun’s mouth, and the shorter man breathes out a laugh, because Hyungwon has always been a little more eloquent than him. 

Changkyun doesn’t open his eyes, almost holds his breath, bites on the corner of his lower lip before a thumb stops him, gently tugs it back, and Hyungwon’s softest, warmest lips touch his. And from this moment, he doesn’t wait, rises on his tiptoes, wraps both his arms around Hyungwon’s neck, pressing him closer, as close as physically possible.

And they kiss, stupidly after such a long time. Changkyun likes exploring, sucking on Hyungwon’s incredibly plush lips, tasting alcohol and something sweet, something only Hyungwon has and something enhanced by his requited affection for the taller man. Hyungwon likes to savour, kiss on the surface, gently, without opening his mouth but still making the other feel pleasant, stopping his movements and just breathing in the moment. And when Changkyun wants more, parts his mouth and licks over Hyungwon’s lips, searching for his tongue and the same fierceness, neediness, the other allows him too, plays along for a little bit, tugging at the thin lips with both his mouth and tongue.

Before he detaches for a second and covers Changkyun’s mouth again, not letting him go hard. Hyungwon shows him his fondness, his affection, his adoration, caresses along his jaw and scarred cheeks, smiles into the kiss. This is how Changkyun likes it—physically, with no words, no polite gestures, just raw pure sentiment that he can only express desperately with his lips, tongue, teeth, squeezing fingers and persistent body. 

When they part, Hyungwon doesn’t let go of the other’s soft face immediately, too enamoured and flushed with emotions to build distance again. But Changkyun looks at the time on his phone again, sighs when he sees several minutes past midnight and leans back slightly, reaching into his pocket. Hyungwon frowns, confused, but lets go of the other, just to see him take out a long maroon ribbon and tie it around his face, holding it under his chin and making a little bow on the top of his head. 

“I guess, I’m your late present,” Changkyun says dumbly and spreads his hands, eyes wondering to the side to hide the growing embarrassment. Hyungwon laughs in disbelief and shakes his head, instantly reaching for Changkyun’s face and kissing him again. And he is so, so endeared, fond, in love. And he suddenly believes that miracles happen, because he did, indeed, just receive his best birthday present. 

 

They swing and dance around the dance floor until two a.m., until Hoseok is seriously worried about tomorrow (today), Kihyun is drunk and sleepy and clingy, Jooheon is very rightfully smashed, and Hyungwon… Hyungwon’s neck cramps from leaning down to kiss Changkyun so much. Their friends hooray for them when they come back holding hands, Minhyuk screams a victorious “finally”, and everyone looks relieved and content. This is exactly what they were all so sneaky about the whole day, Hyungwon realises.

He doesn’t know what’s going to happen, whether they’ll go on dates or just remain as they were before, how they’re going to hide openly admitted emotions from their colleagues, but today (yesterday) is his birthday, and Hyungwon is just happy about his little big present. 

They all part ways, hug compactly, a few pecks on his cheeks and last birthday wishes leave his friends’ mouths, and he orders a taxi to get home alone. Changkyun stays by his side, happily tipsy and criminally cute, and Hyungwon can only offer a tight hug as a goodbye, because they’re in the streets and it’s not exactly the place where they can suddenly be affectionate. He sits in the taxi, fits all the bags with presents next to him (Minhyuk’s pretty box with a Versace robe appears to be the biggest), waves at his newfound but long-awaited boyfriend until he disappears in the horizon, and relaxes on the backseat, dreamy smile back on his face. 

Then it strikes him, the reminder about Changkyun’s present. He searches his bag, fishes out the small box, holds it in his arms with a little smile before opening. It feels special, so he prolongs the moment, anticipation building up, although he has a not so vague idea about what it can be. Changkyun is not the smoothest talker when it comes to mundane conversations (but, Hyungwon must admit, he is a skilled flirt).

It's a USB flash drive in a form of a brown puppy. Hyungwon chuckles endearingly, spinning the small thing between his fingers, excited to see what’s hidden on it. He gets out his laptop. The screen is too blinding in the dark car in the middle of the night, and he squints as he hastily lowers the brightness. He inserts the flash drive in, waits for it to load, clicks on the popped-up folder and finds two things: a music file and another folder titled ‘u’. His heartbeat speeds up inhumanly fast as he fully realises that Changkyun wrote a full song for him, worked on it diligently, waited to give it to him on his birthday. He knows the other is musically talented, but he hasn’t listened much to his own tunes. 

_what’re you doing?_ the title of the song is asking, and Hyungwon plugs in his earphones and plays the file. A musical confession is the best thing he has ever received for his birthday, after a boyfriend. 

Synthesiser bass hits his ears, and Changkyun’s singing voice comes out, higher than his usual tone, gentler, softer, almost vulnerable in the way it’s revealing everything the other man has gone through. And maybe Hyungwon wants to let out tears of joy, hearing how beautiful he is to Changkyun’s eyes, and how precious he actually is, worthy of this wait, worthy of going crazy for. Changkyun sings the entire guide, even the strong chorus that is so clearly meant for a skilled vocalist, but Hyungwon loves it, the guileless questions, the highlighted English, the unbelievable honesty.

Then he raps, and Hyungwon hides his face in his palms as he is both impressed and amused. Maybe his boyfriend is his birthday cake indeed. And the closer he gets to the end of the song, the more he knows that he can’t ever let go of Changkyun now, and that the only thing he can do is just show more of himself, just like the other asked him to. 

He replays the song again and again until the car is parked by his house, all this time scrolling through the folder with photographs the other took of him. What are you doing right now? And Hyungwon thinks that right now, he’s loving his Changkyun the most. 

And although he only has four hours left to catch up on some sleep before the first out of eleven alarms brings him back to reality, he believes that maybe, just maybe, he finally has a motivation to smile in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday, hyungwon
> 
> hope it was clear that the song kyun wrote is mohae!!
> 
> hmu @chaeleggiewon and scream to me about hyungwon bc he is so so cute and good and i love him a lot


End file.
